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Losing Faith (2020)

The origin of this project stems back to a relationship which has existed in my life since I was born. The battle between my Catholic upbringing and me being gay. These two aspects of my identity have always butted heads during my life but only came to light when puberty hit. Since then, I was aware of how the Church I was brought up in, fundamentally does not accept me, for a trait I cannot change. Within its teachings, someone who is gay is labeled as ‘intrinsically disordered’, as said in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Coming into unit 10 and having a portfolio of moving image work, which I have built throughout university, it was obvious for me that I wanted to create a film for my final project. I had wanted to explore this topic since the summer of 2019 and would be focusing on this personal identity which I have just described. During these two terms, I would research, plan and create a documentary which would explore those who are LGBT+ within the Roman church, looking into how this relationship exists in the present. intimate and powerful piece.

Since the COVID19 pandemic and the lockdown started, it took me just under a month to fully adjust to this new routine and figure out how I would pivot my project within the remaining months leading to my final university deadline. As I would now I was confined within the four walls of my home, it was only be appropriate to focus on my own personal story. I then created a film which focused on how the Catholic Church and its teachings have affected those within our household. Looking at the different relationships within my family unit and ultimately presenting a family portrait on film, within the context of religion and it's conflict with sexuality.

Central Saint Martins
May 2020